


Unintended

by alittlebriton



Series: Shadowhunters Codas [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, Episode: s03e01 On Infernal Ground, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e01 On Infernal Ground
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlebriton/pseuds/alittlebriton
Summary: “I was flattered,” he admitted. “Not enough to seriously consider it though.” He shrugged, watching Magnus carefully, and picked up his own glass again.Magnus looked up at him then with a sharpened gaze. “Why not?”“Many things, to be honest. I’d miss too many people. There’s a lot of work to do here still. Part of me wondered if they were offering it to me to get me away from New York.”“From me.” Magnus’ voice was flat with no inflection and Alec winced. He moved to sit next to Magnus and put his glass down on the table so he could take one of Magnus’ hands, his thumb rubbing at one of his rings.





	Unintended

**Author's Note:**

> I feel very rusty at writing these Codas and also my smut muse has dried up. No idea where she's gone. So I wouldn't mind continuing this fic with actual sex when she comes back.

Alec stared out at the city laid beneath him, the brick rough under his fingers. The wind ruffled his hair but Magnus had summoned braziers and the air on the balcony was warm as it caressed his skin.  

“Penny for your thoughts?” Magnus said lightly as he handed a glass of wine to Alec, but Alec could hear the fear underneath the words. 

“Are they valued so little?”

Magnus smiled and looked away, moving to sit gracefully on the loveseat. 

“No, but one never starts a negotiation with what the thing is _really_ worth.”

Alec paused and turned to lean back against the balcony. Talking to Magnus when he was like this, still wrapped up in layers of defences, was always disconcerting. Alec could get deflection like he had earlier, or Magnus’ intense brand of honesty that left Alec feeling like he’d drunk too much too fast. 

“I get the whole pretending your feelings don’t exist, or that they’re different.”

He watched Magnus go completely still, tense in a way that sped up Alec’s heart and made him think about abandoning this conversation and go back to the tentative happiness they’d carved out in the hours since Valentine’s death. But he’d never lost anything by plunging ahead with how he felt, and always fucked up when he hesitated. So he inhaled and continued.

“I do. C’mon, Magnus, you met me when all I did was hide who I was and how I felt.” He huffed out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he remembered how he’d treated Magnus.

“Putting a brave face on it… Magnus, that’s for other people. Not us. I want to be the one you don’t have to pretend with. I don’t want to be treated like I’m other people to you.”

Magnus jerked his head up like he’d been slapped, his eyes huge. 

“Is that how you feel? Alexander, no. It’s not that.”

Alec fought to keep his expression in check rather than let his frustration show. It wasn’t even frustration at Magnus, if he was honest. He knew he was partly to blame for Magnus’ evasion.

“I wish you trusted me enough to share, but I understand. I have to earn that again after everything.”

Magnus shook his head and rose to his feet, coming over to stand in front of Alec and cupped his face with a hand that trembled against his skin.

“No, Alexander, it’s not a case of earning my trust, I _do_ trust you.”

Alec let out a disbelieving noise and Magnus shushed him, colour appearing high on his cheekbones.

“It’s not that, I can promise you.” He dropped his hand and wrapped one arm around himself, looking away again. Alec waited.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that. My pride was hurt, and I felt – well, I felt like I’d let people down. That I had failed in my duty. And that if you saw me like that, then you’d realise.” 

“Realise what?”

Magnus smiled crookedly, self-deprecatingly, still not looking at him. “Realise that I’m not that much of a catch after all.”

Alec blinked at him then began to laugh. Unfortunately, this meant he had to quickly grab Magnus’ hands in his when Magnus huffed and moved to turn away, pulling him back. Magnus didn’t resist, but Alec could see the small scowl on his face.

“Sorry, but like – there’s two hilarious things in that. One, I already know you’re not perfect. You slammed a door in my face after pretending not to see me. I’ve seen you mess up, Magnus. Which leads me to two. You think I’m going to have a revelation that you’re as flawed as I am and then, what, leave you? Are you crazy?”

When Magnus remained silent and avoided his eyes, his gaze fixed on the balcony, Alec finally got it. It _was_ a kind of revelation.

“You do,” he said haltingly, feeling like the air had been punched out of him. He’d had no idea Magnus felt like this. “That’s what you think. That I’d leave you. Because I’d see you not at your best.”

“It’s not,” Magnus started in a small voice, and then cleared his throat. “That wouldn’t be worse or different than what countless others have done. With good reason.”

“ _Magnus_.” Alec wanted to shake him, hold him, yell at him, too many conflicted feelings inside of him to settle on just one. Instead, he tugged Magnus’ hands gently and pulled him closer, letting go to wrap his arms around him and pressed a hard kiss to the side of his head.

“I’m not them.” His voice was little above a murmur into Magnus’ hair.

“I _know_ that,” Magnus whispered. “I just can’t _believe_ it yet.” He must have heard Alec’s swift inhalation because he raised his head, tilting it back to look at Alec.

“Not like that, angel. But you keep surprising me. Belief is also about expectations, you know.”

Alec frowned. “Are you saying that when I get boring and predictable, you’ll trust me?”

Magnus stifled a grin and pushed back a strand of Alec’s hair from his face.

“No. I’m saying that it takes time. You amaze me every day, Alexander.”

“You deserve to be amazed.”

Magnus finally smiled widely enough that his eyes crinkled in the way Alec loved to cause, and Alec leaned down to kiss him softly.

“You know, it occurred to me I didn’t say thank you. Earlier. For being so proud of me for the delegate position. Even though you’d had bad news of your own. And even though I know your feelings on the Clave.” 

Magnus made a complicated expression with his mouth and leaned back so Alec had to let him go. He sauntered back to the loveseat and sat back down, busying himself with taking another sip of wine.  

“Of course I’m proud. You’re a brilliant man, Alexander, and a strong leader. It says something that they want to ask you to share your tolerant views with the Council.”

“I was flattered,” he admitted. “Not enough to seriously consider it though.” He shrugged, watching Magnus carefully, and picked up his own glass again.

Magnus looked up at him then with a sharpened gaze. “Why not?”

“Many things, to be honest. I’d miss too many people. There’s a lot of work to do here still. Part of me wondered if they were offering it to me to get me away from New York.”

“From me.” Magnus’ voice was flat with no inflection and Alec winced. He moved to sit next to Magnus and put his glass down on the table so he could take one of Magnus’ hands, his thumb rubbing at one of his rings.

 “Hey. Not necessarily. From the embarrassment of having a Head that convened a Downworlder Council and also dates a Downworlder, and oh, is also a guy. Maybe that mix. Not just you.”

“You don’t think that in the back of their minds, if you got out from under my sinful and demonic influence, you’d be married and turning out small Shadowhunters of your own in no time?” Magnus scoffed.

“Maybe. I think they underestimate how much I enjoy your sinful influence though.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he saw Magnus’ eyes lighten. 

“But honestly, Magnus, I wasn’t going to contemplate taking the job without speaking to you and getting your thoughts.”

Magnus waggled his head elegantly and picked up his wine glass again, hiding his expression behind his sip. “Oh, Alexander. I don’t want to become something you resent. Someone holding you back.”

Alec just stared at him incredulously until Magnus looked back up. 

“Oh, come on. Don’t look at me like that. Your career is important to you.”

“Yes, but I don’t want my career to be the Clave. I want my career to be protecting people, mundane, Downworlder and Shadowhunter alike.” Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand. He’d thought about this, long and hard, when Aline had asked him about the position. 

“And I don’t want my career to be my life. I don’t want to be like my mother, putting duty before everything else.”

Magnus shook his head and raised Alec’s hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles.

“You could never be your mother. Or your father.”

Alec swallowed hard, his eyes stinging suddenly, his mouth working soundlessly for a few seconds.  

“I just wanted you to know. I’m going to include you in decisions about my future because you _are_ my future. But – I’m going to need you to do the same.”

Magnus frowned and for a fleeting moment Alec wondered if he’d said something wrong.

“I might forget sometimes. Planning a future is something I’ve not been asked to do with someone else.”

“I can’t imagine wanting a tomorrow where I don’t wake up to your face,” Alec said simply. He wanted Magnus, whatever Magnus it was: petty, smooth, nerdy, war-like or exhausted, there wasn’t a version of him Alec thought he’d ever reject.

Magnus looked at him the way he did when Alec surprised him, an expression that never failed to bring colour to Alec’s cheeks. He put down his wine glass and smoothly threw a leg over Alec’s lap to straddle him, clasping his hands behind Alec’s neck.

“Oh, hello,” Alec said stupidly, a goofy grin spreading over his face.

“I love you. Hello,” Magnus smiled back at him and kissed him, wine-stained tongue licking over Alec’s, warm and heady. Alec lost himself in the kiss, the small satisfied noises Magnus made in the back of his throat, the way Magnus’ breath stuttered when Alec gripped his hips harder.

“Out here on the balcony? Really?” Alec panted when they broke for air, not managing to look even a tiny bit disapproving.

“Wherever the mood takes us,” Magnus replied, leaning in and licking up Alec’s neck. “I nearly bent you over the pool table earlier, just for stealing my shot so outrageously.”

Alec’s mouth went dry and he swallowed. “That would be punishment how?”

“Maia might have barred us.”

“That’s more problematic for you and you know it, you old lush.” 

Magnus laughed and sat back. “I’m going to regret telling you stories about Ragnor, aren’t I? You’ve latched onto that phrase with frightening alacrity.”

“It suits you, though.” Alec beamed up at him and pushed his hand underneath Magnus’ shirt, flat on his stomach muscles.

“Come on. Take me to bed where it’s warmer and you can do unspeakably sinful things to me in your bed.” 

“Not on the balcony?” Magnus replied slyly, grinding down. Alec made a rewardingly loud squawk in response and glared at him. 

 “Truly evil,” he huffed, pushing his hands underneath Magnus’ thighs and bodily lifting him up, Magnus clutching around him reflexively while smacking his shoulders.

“Put me down you giant!”

“Nope,” Alec grinned, carrying him through the balcony doors as Magnus hooked his ankles together to help hold on.

“It’s like you don’t even care about keeping the Accords anymore,” Magnus teased as he navigated around Magnus’ furniture and tried not to bump his boyfriend into any walls. 

“Sorry, Mr. Bane, do you feel violated?” Alex deposited him on the bed where he bounced, just a little, looking flushed with a devastating smirk that Alec wanted to kiss. 

“Not yet but the evening’s looking up.” They both burst out laughing and Alec fell on the bed on top of Magnus. He pushed his hair back from his face and looked down at Magnus, his true eyes uncovered and sparkling with joy.

“I’d never want to willingly leave your side,” Alec told him, and leaned down to taste the love on Magnus’ tongue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
